Is It Serious? I'm Afraid It Is

Good Lord. Here's what's going on: I am an art student who does not live the life of an artist. I spread myself too thin and barely make time to be creative. It sucks! Up to me to change it. But then there's work and friends and Michael, who has taken to calling me Goo Goo lately and btw we're having babies. (Kittens, that is). Which, if there's any God in that sky (are you there it's me Matthew) he can sell off for exorbitant amounts of money. There I go with the asides again. It's not a play, it's a blog. Fuck. Do you ever notice how on Intervention the addicts always act like they can't go to rehab because they have a million and one things to do? Like they have this whole posse of people who depend on them, when really . . . they have no friends and the only thing on their agenda is getting fucked up. But they're convinced the world won't go on without them. So, to come full circle . . . the world will go on without me, obviously. Michael might cry. Cori might have to rearrange a schedule or two. My friends have way more friends than just me. And I should start taking some fucking pictures and stop needing to be needed. It's silly. So is the fact that I'm hoping to find amazing clothes to spend all my money on in Madison. But so be it. If I have to start drinking Jack so I get drunk too fast to waste money on pansy drinks all night, so be it. I may start carrying a flask. Ohhh, Gene Simmon's Family Jewels starts soon. I love them.

So . . . BIO 170 (aka Genetics & Society). I'm sitting in it. It should be way more interesting than it is. Maybe if the teacher didn't describe DNA as a spiral staircase that you could climb up if you were small enough . . . things would be different. But that's just one of his many fuckin stupid (although hilarious) analogies. I'm not stimulated. I wish I could take a class on Anne Rice. (Who, by the by, announced today that another Vampire novel is in the works!) Too bad my school's curriculum is about as diverse as the population of West Virginia. Which is . . . not at all . . . because they're all inbred mutants(JK West Virginians, haha don't kill me!) . . . no but really, remember Wrong Turn? Mutants. Who tried to eat Eliza Dushku (aka Faith from Buffy). She's scary, kind of. Speaking of Buffy, what the hell happened to SMG's career? Oh yeah, Freddie Prinze, Jr. I wonder if he's a good lay . . . I bet Angel was . . .when he was evil, anyway.

I haven't blogged since November!!!!! WTF. What's happened since you ask? Not a whole lot. Visited Michael, of course. Made it through the holidays...no, I kid, the holidays were wonderful. Worked a lot. Oh! Yeah. I got a job. Working at the fabulous Hampton Inn.


It's....a good job for me. Yeah. Let's say that. Although..it's a lot to remember. And a lot of responsibility. But sorely needed in my life. So..I'm still in school. Stay in school cuz it's cool. And god knows what I'd do if I weren't. (In school, not cool. Which I am). Moving into more serious terrain for a second here: the movie industry lost an awesome actor today. Batman lost his Joker. Jack Twist lost his Innis del Mar. I'm verklempt. Really. Heath Ledger was talented. But...I'm sure he's at peace. I think everyone's at peace when they die. At least we should be.


So back to my life, because that's what this blog is about after all. Such a vain creature I am. With work and school everyday at 9am, my life is so much more structured. It's good for me. I have so much more time! Like whoa. But I need to get thinking creatively, for real. That's #1 on the agenda. So I know I'm SO BORING! Sorry losers, you didn't have to keep reading, did you? That's ALL ON YOU! I could go on forever. No, I couldn't.

Thanksgiving. Over now. Fun. Not really. Just kind of necessary I suppose. So blah today. Past few days. Feeling that familiar need to run away. But I can't cannot do it. I don't wanna run away from my problems. Just do something fresh and new for a while. Comforts comforts comforts all around me. I want to disappear into a devastatingly interesting and mysterious world of intrigue. But for right now the best I can do is go see a movie. It's very late. But that's okay. I'm a night owl, after all.

I realized how much I <3 Grease 2. And let's discuss how people think it's a horrible sequel. I beg to differ. I know that as a child I enjoyed it infinitely more than the original. Okay, for honesty's sake, in my tiny little heart I was in love with Maxwell Caulfield and thought he was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. Prettier than Michelle Pfeiffer. And that's an accomplishment, cuz that bitch is hot. Still smokin. How old is she even? Too old to be that pretty. A little off-track here. So anyway, flash back to me as an itty bitty gay boy not realizing how much I wanted a C, O-O-L, R-I-D-E-R. I wanted to kick Stephanie Zinone off that motorcycle and straddle him myself! Okay, maybe my sexual imagination hadn't advanced that far yet. But in retrospect, if I had been more self-aware/mature/fucked-up, maybe those thoughts would have been running through my mind. And who could forget "I'll be your giiiirl for all seasons, all the year throuuugh" or "Re-pro-duction, Reproduuuuction" or "We're gonna rock, we're gonna roll, we're gonna bop, we're gonna bowl, we're gonna score score scooooore tonight!" CLASSIC.

Had this dream about Angelina and Brad last night. For some reason I was just a casual observer who happened to be hanging out in their house, which happened to be located on the street I grew up on as a child. Anyway, Angie was pissed off because someone who worked for her had betrayed her or something. She said she would kill them if they did it again. Brad said she wasn't serious. She assured him that she was. Meanwhile, I sat there in the Jolie-Pitt's kitchen watching all of this unfold. It was quite odd.


Also, this is not the first dream I've had about those two. Or being their friend. In another I just stopped by their townhouse in the city and watched TV with Angie while Brad hung out with the kids. I don't understand....do I have some deep-seeded desire to know extremely famous people? Do I subconsciously think that we would make great friends? Do I wish they were my parents? Someone tell me what this means!

You just don't love me
And I just don't care
Oh I never said
I would play fair

Something so perfect
And so rare
There's not a prayer
A prayer

So what can I do?

I am the only perfect choice
You've met your match
I've lost my voice

And when you're gone
It gets so cold
I swear I'm too young
To be this old
This old

So what do I do?

Oh I've been better
You want what's pure and you want what's right
But I'm forever
Just do the right thing for once
In your life
In your life

I've got a right to be this wrong
All of me aches and the best of me's gone
And all that I am is out
And laid bare
And laid bare

So what do I do?
So what do I do?

Oh I've been beggin
Oh you know what's pure and you know what's right
But I'm forever
Just do the right thing for once
In your life
In your life

So what do I do?

It's all I am
It's all I am
It's all I am
It's all I am

Oh I've been cheated
Covered in diamonds and covered in filth
But I'm still breathin
Oh please stick around
And I'll build you a world
I'll build you a world

Oh I've been strangled
Passed beyond sex
And cut down to size
My life just dangles
There's no context for once
In my life
In my life

So what do I do?
So what do I do?

I know that I'm just a lost girl
But please stick around
And I'll build you a world
I'll build you a world
I'll build you a world