Of course. I want to be saved, as we all do. But is praying on the off-chance that God exists really praying? Probably not. If God exists, he knows what's in your heart. And he'd know that I was only praying at the last hour of my life in a feeble attempt to save myself, not really believing in his existence. So is my optimism, my blind faith that things will be okay, really any kind of belief in a higher power? No. They are not interchangable. And yet still I cannot bring myself to seek counsel with this higher power now; to pray. Why? Because I can't help but believe that prayer is simply wishful thinking addressed to a God we create in our minds or let others create for us. I guess I believe we do the best we can. Can we not do better than what we believe of ourselves? We can; but I think that means giving yourself over to something bigger. I just don't know what that is or how to do it.
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